


The Sharp Edge of a Blade

by camienicole



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9791372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camienicole/pseuds/camienicole
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov have been training hard for this year's Grand Prix series. Yuuri moved to St. Petersburg in order for Victor to start retraining with Yakov and continue to coach him. The first competition is the Rostelecom Cup where Yuuri will face off against the reigning Grand Prix Final gold medalist, Yuri Plisetsky, and the returning five time world champion Victor Nikiforov. Other top competitors  will make the competition fierce with only three spots on the podium. Yuuri is at the top of his game having placed in the top three spots in almost all of his competitions this season. Everything is going great until the unthinkable happens and Yuuri will have to fight more than ever to make his dream of obtaining a gold medal a reality.





	1. Just Within Reach

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this after watching a video of something that happened the real life GPF a few years ago. I don't want to get into it because then I would spoil the plot so I'll be explaining what happened after the plot is revealed. Thank you for giving this story a chance!  
> XO, Camie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rostelecom Cup is finally here and its the first assignment in the Grand Prix series for Yuuri, Victor and Yurio. Yuuri is ready to win that gold and be one step closer to qualifying for the final. He's prepared to beat Victor and Yurio but things don't go as planned.

**Yuuri**

 

More than a year has passed since Victor arrived in Hasetsu saying he was going to be my coach. Sometimes it feels like Victor was always part of my life; always cheering me on, always loving me. After the GPF last year I moved to St. Petersburg in order for Victor to start retraining with Yakov and still have him coach me. It's been an adjustment to say the least. I had gotten used to training with just Victor present but now the rink is full of other skaters like Yurio, Georgi, Mila and Victor. This means even though my coach is Victor the other skaters and even Yakov have helped me. The training has been hard especially for Victor as he hadn't trained for almost a year but like the legend he is he came back quickly and better than ever. He says that its mostly thanks to me because I inspired him again. His words make me blush every time he mentions it and it makes Yurio groan in disgust. Yurio has been in a better mood thanks to his friendship with Otabek. I mean he's still an angry teenager but he smiles more often and lets Victor hug him for a few seconds before pushing him away in disgust. As for me Yurio only calls me pork cutlet bowl or piggy when he's really angry or disgusted by my and Victors public displays of affection. The first time he called me by my actual name I didn't respond because I thought he wasn't talking to me. His face was pretty funny when I called him out on it.

  
I sigh relaxing into the mattress not wanting to get up and face the morning sun. I'm not a morning person at all so waking up early is incredibly hard for me. The alarm was set for eight which is two hours after Victor's wake up time. Victor loves mornings and has been trying to get me to like them too but I'm sure that's never going to happen. The bed is warm and comfortable under the fluffy duvet making the outside world less appealing. The bathroom door opens and muffled footsteps are heard coming towards the bed. A few seconds later the bed dips and the blanket is ripped away only to be replaced by a warm body.

  
" _Доброе утро_." Victor whispers in my ear his breath skating over my skin making me shiver. I turn around to face him and cuddle into his body seeking extra warmth. Both of his arms wrap around my waist my face now in the crook of his neck. I breath in deeply smelling the generic soap of the hotel and something uniquely Victor. I hum happily when he begins running his fingers through my longer than usual hair. "I know you don't want to but you have to get up, _moya lyubov_ '."

"In a minute. You're comfy." I reply against his neck and place a small kiss there just because I felt like it. Victor smiles against my forehead and relaxes more into the bed. Moments like this one are the ones I cherish the most. I love skating, especially with Victor next to me but having him all to myself like this is simply the best. The first time we slept together was just after the GPF last year. I remember waking up and seeing him lying next to me with ruffled hair and slightly parted lips. I couldn't believe that Victor Nikiforov was actually asleep next to me and that he _wanted_ to be there. When he opened his blue eyes and smiled sleepily at me I knew that my heart was no longer my own. I had given it all to him and amazingly enough he had taken it and given me his in return. He said "I love you" after a few seconds of looking at me and I swear my heart stopped beating for a moment. My chest felt tight with overwhelming emotion and my eyes started to tear up because I never expected this to happen. Victor was unattainable in my mind when I was younger and then when I met him he became even more amazing. To have that person who you thought was so above you say they love you is the greatest experience. He reached up and cupped my cheek in his hand brushing away some tears when I finally said it back. That moment was better than any medal I could ever win.

  
I groan knowing that I have to get up because we both have to go to the ice rink to start warming up for the short program. During this last year my anxiety and nerves have gotten a lot better. I think its mostly because of Victor's unwavering belief in me and the fact that I've learned to be more confident in myself. Through Victor I have also found many friends in the skating world who I now have support from. I finally feel like I belong with them on the ice and off. I huff out a breath of annoyance before disentangling myself from Victor and walking towards the bathroom to get ready. "Yurio is waiting for us to eat breakfast so be quick. We don't want to anger him so early in the morning." I hear Victor say through the bathroom door. I quickly get ready and when I come out Victor is on me in an instant. His hands cup my face and his lips meet mine in a tender kiss. "Good morning."

  
I chuckle at the cheeky smile on his face and kiss him again. "Morning." Victor grabs my hand and interlaces our fingers together. We reach the breakfast place and see Yurio already sitting down with a plate of food in front of him. We fill our plates with food and sit down at Yurio's table. Yurio glances up from his phone and glares at us before nodding his hello. "Good morning, Yuri. How's Otabek?" I ask and see the blonde teen blush while smiling down at his phone.

  
"Why do you ask me, piggy? You should ask him yourself." Yurio snaps but his usual fierceness is missing. He continues eating while taking occasional glances at his phone. It lights up with a message, no doubt from Otabek, and the teen smiles as he reads the message. "Beka send you good luck."

  
Victor and I exchange knowing glances and smile. "Likewise. I'm assuming he's extremely happy with his gold medal from Skate Canada." Victor answers while carefully preparing his tea. Five days ago Otabek won the gold medal at Skate Canada by performing a flawless routine. Pichit got silver while the newly improved and engaged, Georgi, won bronze. Yurio, Victor and I watched the competition at our place and cheered them on. Yurio was ecstatic for Otabek and you could see how proud he was of his friend. I was of course happy for Pichit because my best friend had been working hard for this GP series. Hopefully he and Otabek will do well in their other assignments and qualify for the GPF. Over at Skate America the ever dominating JJ beat Chris for the gold while a newcomer named Camilo Aldrete from Spain got the bronze. Unfortunetely news arrived a few days ago  that Chris had injured his knee and is unable to compete. Victor was visibly upset for his best friend but Chris promised he would recover for the next season. Now the third event has come and from this season's skating the competition is incredibly close. There are many top skaters in good shape to qualify so the battle for one of the six spots on the GPF is brutal.

  
"Yeah, he's really happy but you know Otabek, he's not satisfied unless he qualifies for the final. He told me he's looking forward to skating against you at NHK." Yurio says to Victor with a smirk. We talk about the upcoming competition and the ones to come while eating breakfast. Other skaters soon join us and when we finish we all file out of the hotel together.

  
\----

  
Several hours later all twelve skaters are getting ready for their performance. Victor, Yurio and I are backstage stretching and keeping warm as the first group of skaters take the ice. We are in the last group along with the newcomer Camilo Aldrete. Camilo is 18 years old and has been sort of a surprise rising through the ranks efficiently. The kid is good and consistent which is why many consider him a contender for the GPF. He moves effortlessly through the ice and his jumps are powerful. The media says the Rostlecom Cup is going to be the closest competition out of all of the assignments.

  
The order of performance is Camilo followed by Victor then Yurio and finally me. Being the last performer is both the best and the worst. The best because all of the other competitor have gone before you so you know how well you need to do in order to take the lead but the worst because all of the audience is waiting for you to be better than the ones before you. The first group finishes and then the second one as well. The four of us start getting ready to head to the ice to warm up. "Yuuri." I hear Victor call out from behind me. I turn around to face him taking out one of my earbuds to clearly hear what he has to say. "You've trained hard for this moment which means your body knows what to do, you just have to listen to it. Don't over think your steps or your jumps just let yourself go. I know you can do this okay?" Victor stares into my eyes in full coach mode and I can't help but smile. Victor is by far nothing like a normal coach.

  
"Yeah, I know. You better watch out because I came here looking to beat you and Yurio out of that gold medal." I say playfully pushing his shoulder softly but meaning every word. Victor laughs while shaking his head.

  
"I'm actually looking forward to it. Give it everything you've got, Yuuri, because I didn't come out of retirement to lose." Victor kisses me quickly before picking up his water bottle and walking off towards the rink. I put away my phone and put on a pair of black gloves that Victor gave me on a snowy afternoon. I take a deep breath before walking out into the rink full of people waiting for us. The rink is pretty full and I smile while reading the signs and seeing some Japanese flags waving in the air. One of the things that surprised me was how people from Russia cheer me on even thought I'm not competing for their country. I've become quite popular here. I take off the skate guards and hand them over to Yakov for same keeping. The ice is familiar and the sounds of blades hitting ice calm me down. I begin warming up by skating around the rink before finally beginning to practice my jumps. I successfully land my quad flip and triple salchow making me feel amazing. I can see the gold around my neck just within reach. I begin to prepare for my triple axel when out of nowhere something hits me on the face. I go down hard on the ice, my head slamming down making everything go black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story! Hopefully I will be able to update quickly but if I don't I'm sorry (you can blame college for that!!)! Also forgive my probably horrible Russian because it comes straight from Google Translate.
> 
> If you like it please leave a comment letting me know or drop some Kudos! 
> 
> XO, Camie
> 
> PS: Camilo Aldrete is the male of myself! (My name is Camila...) I felt the need to include a Hispanic skater to the mix!


	2. Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor watches as everything unfolds. He watches as Yuuri crashes onto the ice unmoving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna listen to Victor's short program song just click on the title!

**Victor**

  
My Grand Prix series has finally begun and my heart beats with excitement. I was happy being Yuuri's coach but I have to admit I did miss the feelings that rush through me while skating at a competition. There is nothing like the adrenaline high you get from performing your heart out before hundreds of people. Returning to the competitive side of the sport has been tough physically and mentally but at the same time it feels like if I had never left. After training for weeks I made my comeback at the Russian Nationals finishing first but only by 0.10 of a point with a frustrated Yurio in second. At the Europeans I placed third behind Yurio and Camilo. The first time competing againts Yuuri was at the World Championship and people all over the world were talking about us. How can someone coach and compete at the same time? That was the question on everyone's mind and it was certainly answered. It's hard work but totally worth it when you both end up on the podium next to each other. Yurio managed to beat both of us for the gold, Yuuri ending with silver and me with the bronze. So far my comback has been more than succesful but my desire for gold is always present.

  
I watch Yuuri stretch out his legs and smile because I can't quite believe that man over there is mine. In the beginning I tried to convince myself that my only motive for coaching Yuuri was because of the potential I saw in him but I was just lying to myself. Deeo down I knew that the potential he had to be great was only part of what lured me to him. After the GP banquet where I noticed my attraction to Yuuri my curiosty grew and then the video of him skating my program went viral and I fell just a little more. Spending months together as coach and athlete only made me fall harder because I saw a part of him hardly anyone sees. I knew I loved him long before I actually confessed to him. I will never forget seeing the tears shining in his eyes and how he whispered the words back to me with so much conviction. I knew then that he was my future and that I would do anything to stay close to him.

  
The announcer lets us know to go to the rink because our group warm up is about to start. I walk towards Yuuri calling out to him making him turn around to face me. "You've trained hard for this moment which means your body knows what to do you just have to listen to it. Don't over think your steps or your jumps just let yourself go. I know you can do this okay?" He answers me back playfully making me laugh before speaking once more. "I'm actually looking forward to it. Give it everything you've got, Yuuri, because I didn't come out of retirement to lose."

  
I kiss him quickly, picking up my water bottle and heading towards the rink. My blood rushes with adrenaline but my head is clear and focused. The warm up begins and we all start slowly gradually making our way to jumping. I land a cuad flip and a combination before doing a lap around the ice. I practice various jumps landing them all successfuly making my feel better than ever. The last two minutes I decide to use them to loosening up my legs by skating back and forth. I take in the rest of the skaters and Yuuri lands his triple salchow beautifully. He begins to prepare for another jump when all of a sudden Camilo falls down getting in Yurio's way. This makes Yurio swerve to avoid hitting him but he looses balance causing his upper body to go down while his lower body to lift. Everything happens in slow motion as Yurio's blade catches Yuuri on the side of the face. Yuuri goes down hard his head making a sickening thud as it bounces of the ice. Camilo is already on his feet skating towards a no kneeling Yurio but I'm frozen in place still trying to comprehend what just happened. All of a sudden time begins to move normally and Yuuri's unmoving body on the ice has me spriting towards him. "Yuuri!" I scream as I reach him and throw myself next to him. His eyes are closed and blood stains the ice red. Yakov and a medic finally reach Yuuri and start assessing his wounds.

  
I squeeze his hand willing him to open his eyes and when he finally does I breathe a little easier but he's not out of danger yet. There is so much blood coming out of his head and cheek. A long gash starts from under his right ear all the way to his chin where Yurio's blade cut him. "Yuuri." I say desperately and he turns to me groaning in pain. "Victor." He groans out while reaching up with his free hand towards his head. The medic starts asking him questions and soon they're lifting him up from the ice and carrying him towards the medical room. I follow behind them unwilling to leave Yuuri's side for even a second. Fear has my body tense and my emotions all over the place. I hear the end of warm up being announced and the Camilo being called to the ice for his performance. I block all that out and focus on Yuuri who is now lying on a stretcher. The medic checks his head first seeing as that is the more serious of his injuries.

  
"Follow my finger, please. Okay, good. Now do you feel any diziness or nausea?" Yuuro shakes his head no but his eyes look dazed. The medic cleans the wound and pronounces that it is small but deep. He places gauze over the wound and its soon soaked with blood. "I'm going to have to stitch this up. It'll probably be only two stitches but it necessary to stop the bleeding." As he starts preparing the necessary items to be able to treat Yuuri I hear someone call my name.

"Victor." I look towards the door to find Yakov standing there looking apologetic. I look at him expectantly before realizing my name is being called over the arena. Apparently enough time has passed that Camilo has finished his program and his score given. "It's your turn, you have to get on the ice or you're disqualified."

  
I stare back at him in disbelief. How could he think I'm going to perform when Yuuri is lying on a stretcher bleeding? "I'm not leaving him. I don't care if I get discualified!" I almost yell the overwhelming fear still very present. Yakov looks back at me with sympathetic eyes.

  
"No. You have to go, Victor." I spin around in a flash at Yuuri's voice and stare into his beautiful brown eyes. I start to protest but Yuuri cuts me off. "No. If you don't compete because of me I'll just blame myself for making you get disqualified. Besides, I'm fine. You've worked too hard for this to give up now."

  
Tears threaten to spill from the frustration coursing through my body. My heart physically aches at the thought of leaving him here all alone. I'm his coach, I'm supposed to be here with him. For the first time since coming back I resent having to compete. "Go, I'll stay with him." I turn towards the door to see Yurio standing where Yakov used to be. "I promise I won't leave him until you're done." His blue eyes are as serious as I've ever seen them and his voice is full of concern and conviction. I nod my answer looking at Yuuri one last time before leaving. He gifts me a smile and I walk out of the room after thanking Yurio.

  
I walk up to the rink where Yakov is waiting and take off my skte guards. "I understand that you're worried about Yuuri but right now you need to forget about that. Focus on your routine thats what Yuuri would want." He says before I step on the ice.

  
**"Representing Russia, Victor Nikiforov."**

  
I take my stance in the middle of the ice and wait for the music to start. Taking a deep breath I will my mind to focus on the routine. I'm doing this for you, Yuuri. [Writing On the Wall by Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jzDnsjYv9A) begins to fill the arena and my body follows the music. I don't think my body just does what its been programmed to do. After what feels like seconds I'm standing still chest heaving arms and legs shaking. Sweat beads on my face and neck as the applause of the crowd intensifies. I did it. I landed every one of my jumps and executed everything else perfectly. "Victor!" I hear my name being yelled from the Kiss and Cry. Yuuri is sitting down with a huge smile on his face a grumpy looking Yurio beside him. I rush off the ice and hurriedly put on the skate guards. Soon enough I'm in front of him and he's standing up to hug me. My arms wrap around him tightly the fear, the adrenaline of the performance and the overwhelming relief that he's okay all crashing into me at once. I can't stop the tears that stream down my face and into Yuuri's neck. "You were amazing, Vitya!"

  
I pull back enough to press my lips to his needing extra reassurance that he is indeed okay. "How are you? What did the doctor say? Are you going to compete?" I ask rapidly because my mind is all jumbled up. I take him in and notice the cut caused by Yurio's blade is covered in a bandage and his head has gauze wrapped around it. He looks pale, well more than usual, and his eyes still look out of focus. 

Yuuri smiles but he flinches when the action pulls at the cut on his cheek. "Slow down, I'm okay. The doctor said I have a mild concussion but that if I felt good enough I could skate." He explains and relief courses through me at the knowledge that he injury is not as serious as it could have been. The crowd cheers and I realize my score has been posted. I look up to the board and smile. "You scored a 116.45! That puts you in first place!" Yuuri all but yells with excitement which causes me to laugh along. He's more excited about it than I am but I guess that's just who Yuuri is.  
"Do you feel well enough to skate?" I ask still a little concerned that he will push himself too much. I know how much this means to him which means I know he'd do just about anything to compete. Yuuri looks back at me and for a second I see the pain in his eyes but its gone in a flash.

  
"I'm okay. I promise." He says just as Moonlight Sonata fills the arena and Yurio begins his short program skate. He performs well but ultimately falling on a triple flip. He skates off the ice with a scowl on his face no doubt furious with himself for failing to skate a perfect routine which he needed in order to beat me. Yuuri and I leave the Kiss and Cry so Yurio can sit with Yakov and wait for his score. After only a few minutes the score is up and it is a 112.10 which is enough to put him in second place.

  
**"Representing Japan, Yuuri Katsuki."**

  
Yurio walks passed us as Yuuri takes off his skate guards. "Davai." He says before Yuuri looks at me one last time and smiles making his way to the middle of the ice. He cringes as he positions himself and shakes his head as if to clear it. The music starts and I'm scared to death he's lying to me about how much he's really hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment on what you thought about it! Or drop a kudos!
> 
> XO, Camie


	3. Won't Let this Bring Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Yuuri to perform for a chance at qualifying for the final. Will he be able to get through his program or are his injuries far worse than he lead Victor to believe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that I didn't explain about the video that inspired this story in the previous chapter so if you wanna know keep on reading this note! **** You can hear the music I've chosen for Yuuri's short program by clicking on the title of the song!
> 
> Japanese skater, world champion and Olympic gold medalist, Yuzuru Hanyu, was warming up for his free skate at the Cup of China when another skater, Chinese champion, Han Yan, collided with him. The collision resulted in both skaters falling to the ice and getting cut. Hanyu received a cut under his chin and a bleeding head wound that resulted in several stitches. Han Yan had a cut under his chin and hit his head hard enough to cause him to lose consciousness as he was walking towards the medical room and had to be carried by stretcher. Hanyu was also reported to have lost consciousness at some point. Only 45 minutes after the collision Han Yan performed as scheduled but fell on various jumps. The reigning Olympic champion Hanyu performed 50 minutes after the collision. He was visibly disoriented and fell five time during his FS. His coach had to physically help him walk towards the Kiss and Cry and told him that after the score was announced he was to head directly to the hospital. Hanyu scored a total of 237.55 ranking him in second place. Hanyu cried when he saw his score, no doubt overwhelmed by relief. 
> 
> Watch the crash and performance at the links below!
> 
> Crash:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf84VzlzLhI  
> FS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI1CX_e7H2A
> 
> Yuzuru Hanyu is no doubt one of the best figure skaters ever and I love him so much! He reminds of Yuuri too!

**Yuuri**

 

My head is pounding like if it has a heartbeat of its own. Sharp pains occasionally run through my head wound making me dizzy with their intensity. Nausea threatens to make me double over but I push through it. I cringe when my starting pose causes a lighting bolt of pain to run through my head. I lied when I told Victor I was fine. I lied when the doctor asked me if I was nauseous and if my vision was okay. I know how serious head injuries can be but I can't risk them saying I can't skate so I lied. I'll get checked out properly after this is over and I've given it my all. I just hope that I can make it through the routine without throwing up or passing out. I take various deep breaths in an effort to clear my blurry vision before the music starts. The music from [Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkS7_FsaSaw\)) comes out of the speakers and my arms reach out towards Victor and then I spin away. My legs feel heavy but I will them to listen to me. I'm finishing this program no matter what.

I set up for my quadruple lutz in combination with a triple toe loop and I land incorrectly but manage to save it at the last minute with only a small fumble. My breathing is heavier than it usually is by just one jump but I'm forcing my body beyond its limits.

_I need to get this program right. I've worked too hard to give up now just because of this accident. Come on, Yuuri, you can do this._

The second jump is a triple axle and although I complete the rotations the blade of my skate digs into the ice throwing me off balance. The resulting fall is jarring and pain radiates through my head making the world blurry. I close my eyes willing my body to cooperate with me and get up in a matter of seconds to continue.

_I_ _can't afford to fall again if I want to have a chance at finishing on the podium._

 I internally cringe when I realize my next element is a spin knowing full well it won't help my vision at all. The world is a hazy jumble of colors when I stop spinning but I keep on skating because it's almost over. I can see the finish line just within reach. The only difficult element left is my quad flip which I have to land. My legs are running on empty and I start feeling faint. I jump into the air and rotate my body one, two, three, four times. I uncross the free leg from in front of the landing leg and swing it to the rear. I extend my arms and free leg allowing me to flow out of the jump on a strong edge. A triumphant feeling fills me with the energy needed to skate the rest of the routine. I execute a pancake spin transitioning into a scratch spin with one hand outstretched as if reaching for the ceiling. I stop slowly my arm still reaching towards the sky the other one folded on top of my chest. I stay in that position chest heaving the overwhelming emotion of relief mixing with the effects of my injuries. 

_It's over. I did it._

I stumble towards a concerned looking Victor and as soon as he's within reaching distance I throw myself on him my legs giving away. Yakov appears next to me and helps Victor practically carry me to the Kiss and Cry. "You did it, Yuuri, you can relax now." I hear Victor whisper in my ear as he hold my hand tight in his. "You're too pale, you exerted yourself too much." He scolds me but I don't mind because I know its because he's scared about the severity of my injuries. Victor's blue eyes run over my wounds and then looks into my eyes. "After your score is posted you're going to the hospital."

"I'm okay, Vitya, I just need some rest. There is no need to go to the hospital when the doctor here said it was only a mild concussion." I try reasoning with him because if I go the hospital I know what the outcome will be. I won't be able to skate the free tomorrow and I refuse to let that happen. He's about to say something when the announcer says that my score is in. I look to the board and smile when an 112.05 appears putting me in third place just after Yurio. I'm relieved by how high it is given the fall on the triple axle and the wobble on the combination. Victor smiles brightly before hugging me and kissing me softly on the lips . Yakov comes over to help me up and take me to the back. As soon as Yurio and Victor have everything together we get into the car we rented and drive to the hotel.

Once there Victor wastes no time in taking me to the room. "I'll run you a bath because you can't shower with those stitches and I'm not a hundred percent sure you won't pass out." He informs me to which I just nod because speaking takes too much energy that I don't currently have. I take off my shirt and pants before taking a break to get some air.

_Shit, this concussion is fucking up my endurance. How am I supposed to skate for four minutes and a half when I can't even manage to undress without winding myself._

My eyes fill with tears as my frustration over the accident builds. Collisions between skater don't happen often...why did this have to happen to me? Victor walks out of the bathroom shaking me out of my pity party and helps me into the tub. The water is hot making me release a moan of pleasure as my aching muscles begin to relax. After a few seconds of silence Victor talks. "You lied to me." He says quietly and I just stare back at him trying to figure out if he's mad.

"I didn't. The doctor said..." I begin but Victor is having none of that and cuts me of with a shake of his head. A sigh escapes my lips when I realize I can't talk my way out of this, he knows me too well. "I'm sorry." I apologize because there is nothing else to say. He knows why I did it and some part of him even understands my reasons. Victor stays with me his fingers brushing through my hair softly until the water grows cold. He helps me out and dries my body when I'm too tired to do so. I end up with just a pair of boxers on because I don't want to go through the trouble of putting on a shirt.

The bed is plush and the duvet is warm when I finally lie down. "You can rest now, _moya lyubov_. I'll have to wake you up a couple of times just to make sure you're okay but you can sleep for now." He says as he sits next to me on the bed running his thumb over my cheek. I smile slowly my body already surrendering itself to sleep. As he stands up to get cleaned up I grab his hand stopping him. His beautiful blue eyes land on mine full of concern. "I love you." I say simply and watch as his whole face brightens with affection. Victor leans forward placing a chaste kiss on my lips before placing another on my forehead. I close my eyes and hum happily as exhaustion finally wins and I fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment letting me know what you think! Or drop some kudos!
> 
> XO, Camie


	4. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened at the Rostelecom Cup? Who won? Is Yuuri really okay or is he lying to Victor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Click on the title of the songs to listen to them!

**Yuuri**

 

A week has passed since the accident on the ice and everything is getting back to normal…or so I hope. The day off the free skate at the Rostelecom Cup I woke with a killer headache and cranky as hell. I’m pretty sure I snapped at Victor multiple times and then felt like an ass about it later. Let’s just say I apologized to him a lot that day. My vision was not the best but I decided that didn’t matter and went on to skate a good enough free program to finish second. Yurio unfortunately fell on one of his quads (which he raged about for days afterwards) and ended up being third. To be honest I was secretly happy I beat him because although I don’t blame him for the accident it was his blade that cut me. Victor being the legend that he is performed beautifully and scored his seasons best. Standing on that podium with both Victor and Yurio was best. I was so incredibly happy for Victor’s gold and he in turn happy about my silver. The two of us celebrated at home partly due to my injuries but mostly because Victor just wanted to cuddle up and relax after two days filled with conflicting emotions. Victor and I sprawled over the bed in t-shirts and sweatpants while gorging out on food and watching movies.

Now I’m warming up on the ice with the other four skaters in my group. Pichit skates by me with a smile before executing a perfect triple axel. I try to smile back but the overpowering sense of fear has me unable to express an ounce of emotion. My muscles are tense and my anxiety threatens to make me run off the ice. After the accident, I didn’t think that there would be any emotional problems with skating but I was wrong. I mean I’m fine skating by myself but when other people join in I start panicking. I’ve always had issues with anxiety but it had gotten better with Victors help now though it seems the accident triggered something. When it was time to warm up the day of the free skate I remember being so scared that I froze on the ice. I started to have a panic attack in that moment because the only thing on my mind was that I could get hurt again. I knew that the accident had been a freak thing and that the probability for a thing like that to happen again were next to none but my body didn’t care. It was in survival mode which meant that I had no power over the fear and overwhelming need to get off the ice. That’s the thing about anxiety its irrational. Luckily Yurio called out to me because I was in the way. Victor started skating towards me concern in his eyes but I quickly dismissed him with a shake of my head. “I’m good.” I told him once he was closer and proceeded to basically obligate my body to move and practice my jumps. I managed to get some jumps in but I was mostly too busy being paranoid making sure none of the other skaters were close enough to me. When the time was up I rushed out of the rink like as if a monster were chasing after me.

From then on, I avoided being with other skaters while on the ice using my injuries as an excuse to not train when others were around. Victor was extremely worried that the injury to the head was not getting better but I reassured him that I was okay. The truth is that even though the stitches finally came off yesterday before the short program of the Trophée de France I was still experiencing raging headaches and frequent dizziness. My anxiety was raging from the moment I woke up today and it only worsens as the warm up gets closer.

I’m currently ranked first only a couple of points over Pichit and I need to make this routine flawless to win. My heart pounds inside my chest, my hands and legs are shaking with adrenaline and dread.

**“Skaters, the warm up period is over. Please, proceed off the ice.”**

At the announcement, I fly off towards the sidelines to where Victor is waiting for me. After putting on the skate guards I walk to the empty space available to keep stretching out my muscles. God knows I need it after hardly practicing anything before. Seung-gil Lee takes the ice currently in four place after the short program. He has been dealing with a flaring injury to his left knee which sometimes causes him to pop some of his jumps. I think he’s doing pretty well considering but he still won’t qualify for the GPF if he can’t overcome that injury.

“You doing okay?” Victor asks and I turn to him keeping my face neutral as to not give away my true emotions. Hiding the truth from Victor is hard and I’m exhausted by the end of the day just from that alone. He knows me too well and is always looking at me noticing any changes. It’s scary to have someone know you better than yourself but it’s also frustrating because you can’t hide anything from them unless you try hard. I smile up at him because out of everything his beautiful eyes seem to be able to calm me to a certain extent.

“I’m good, just restless to get on the ice.” I answer and he eyes me for a minute before nodding. I know he knows there is something that I’m hiding. I feel guilty for making him worry and for lying to him but it can’t be helped. Victor turns back to watch the end of Seung-gil’s performance. Soon it’s Georgi’s time to skate and he lands everything perfectly. Ever since he met his now fiancé Elena his attitude towards love has changed and so has his skating. He’s improved a lot over the last year.

**“Representing Thailand, Pichit Chulanot.”**

[Friend Like Me from Aladdin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVa16y2Uoxg) comes through the speakers and Pichit begins skating. His movements are playful and the crowd is loving it. This music choice was perfect for his personality to come out and shine. He lands all his jumps and executes his spins perfectly. He’s currently in first place with only one more skater to go; me. I take off my skate guards handing them to Victor and getting on the ice. “You got this.” Is all Victor says before taking my hand and placing a kiss on the gold ring on my finger. I smile brightly at the gesture and feel his love fill me with confidence. I skate to the middle of the rink and kiss where he just did before positioning myself in the starting pose. One hand is folded over the other on my chest and my head is tilted down my gaze on the ice. A violin cover of [The Scientist by Coldplay](https://open.spotify.com/track/5MedZHkdvCOAFxXgS9yst5) fills the arena and I begin to skate. I land my first two quads the second one in combination with a double toe loop. A step sequence is followed by a triple salchow and then a triple flip. As the music builds I execute a triple axel, quadruple toe loop and then another combination triple axel, single loop, triple salchow. I go into a camel spin my arms extended and transition into a sit spin. The last two jumps of the program are after this and I’m feeling great. My energy levels are good and my legs are not feeling overly tired. A triple lutz, triple toe loop later I’m in the last part of the routine. Another step sequence and a split jump are completed perfectly. I prepare to jump and when I land the quad flip my chest fills with triumph and pride.

I did it! I’m going to the Gran Prix Final.

I don’t need to see the score to know that I’m finishing first because my technical score is higher than Pichit’s and I executed everything perfectly. I lower to the ice my knee gliding on top of the ice while the other one is extended backwards and stop just as the music does. I’m breathing heavy and my head is pounding but I couldn’t be happier with my performance. Applause fills the arena and I smile while bowing to the crowd.

Victor is waiting for me at the sideline with my skate guards and a huge smile. “You did amazing!” He gushes into my ear as he hugs me tight. We walk together to the Kiss and Cry where we wait for the final score to be posted. I’m confident it’s going to be high maybe even a season’s best.

**“The score please.”**

The score is posted and I smile at the 216.10 on the board.

**“The total score for Yuuri Katsuki of Japan is 317.45. He is currently in first place.”**

Victor hugs me while congratulating me. He cups my face before placing a chaste kiss on my lips. I kiss him again knowing he’s dying to give me a proper kiss but holding himself back because I don’t like PDA while so many eyes are on me. I’m so happy but at the back of my mind my anxiety lingers threatening to go off at any moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon!
> 
> Please comment what you think or leave a kudos!
> 
> XO, Camie


	5. You Mean More to Me Than Anything...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is moving quickly and the last assignment before the GPF is here! Victor battles it out with the other skater for the top spot at NHK Trophy. But something goes wrong and things take a turn for the worst. Brace yourselves!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Click on the song title to listen to it!

**Victor**

  
It’s been weeks since the accident at the Rostelecom Cup and Yuuri says he’s better but I sense that’s not the truth. He’s not acting like himself well he does but I can tell it’s not real. I see him cringe once in a while when he falls on a jump. He wakes up with headaches always drinking a pill whenever he thinks I’m not paying attention. His appetite that was legendary is now barely there. He hardly eats and says it’s because he’s trying to watch his weight before the GPF. Every Saturday and Sunday we go walk Makkachin together but for the past few weeks he’s been too tired. The dark circles under his eyes are not my imagination either. “You need to concentrate, Vitya!” I hear Yakov scold me because apparently, he’s been calling my name for a while. Yakov knows where my head is at right now and he understands because even he is worried about Yuuri but he’s also right about needing to focus.

  
I’m currently at my second and last assignment for the GP series, NHK Trophy. Today is the free skate and although I am in first after the short, Otabek, is close behind which means I can’t afford to mess this up. Yuuri was originally coming with me because the competition is in Japan and he wanted to visit his family afterwards but said he wanted to focus on training so he stayed back with Yurio. Not being with him is making me crazy with worry because I’m not there to make sure he’s okay. Based on how he’s been acting lately I’m almost a hundred percent sure he isn’t resting or eating properly. And even though I gave Yurio strict instructions to keep an eye on him (and I know he will because even if he doesn’t say it I know he’s worried too) I can’t help the uneasiness that follows me everywhere.

“I know I’m sorry.” I apologize while lacing up my skates because my group’s warm up time is almost here. I need for this day to be over so I can go back to Yuuri. The skaters are called to the ice where the warm up period is over quickly. Since I’m the second-to last to I decide to call Yuuri to confirm that he’s okay so I can go on the ice without worry. The phone rings and rings with no answer. I call again but receive the same results.

  
_Maybe he’s training._

  
Thought swirl in my brain as I try to come up with million excuses as to why he isn’t answering.

  
_He said he was going to watch the live feed from the rink with the others. He’s not supposed to be training_ …

  
Fuck. I’m not focused at all and I’m next by the sounds of it. I call Yurio to see if they’re together. A beep lets me know he’s currently on the phone with someone. Ugh! My frustration worsens and I start to pace as the crowd cheers signaling the end of a performance. Yakov come to find me and his face is emotionless. It’s an expression I don’t see often because he’s usually either angry or exasperated. “You’re up, Vitya.” He says avoiding my measuring gaze. He walks towards the rink before me and a sense of foreboding fills me. Something is wrong.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as soon as I reach him by the entrance to the rink. Yakov stares back his face devoid of any emotion and shakes his head.

  
“Now is not the time. You need to go out there and land everything perfectly, understand?” I stare back at him trying to get something from his expression but he doesn’t give anything away. Shit. The announcer calls my name but I don’t get on the ice. I won’t until he tells me what he’s hiding. “Dammit, Victor, get on the ice!” He says before storming off to the sidelines where he is to watch my routine.

  
I angrily step on the ice and stop abruptly in the middle of it. I can only imagine what the commentators are saying about the spat I just had with Yakov. I’m sure my aggressive stop and the pissed expression on my face has people speculating as well. Adrenaline pumps through my body making the anger feel like a living entity. I take my stance and [The Phantom of the Opera](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh5sxYKyQXk&t=208s) begins to fill the arena. The powerful beginning is perfect to take my anger out on my jumps and movements but I need to be able to soften my moves when the music changes.

  
The anger, worry and need to be done with this assignment drives me to land all of my jumps perfectly. The music ends and I'm tired as hell but I rush off of the ice barely bowing to the crowd. Yakov is waiting for me having lost the stony mask he previously had on. I put on my skate guards but don't move to the kiss and cry because what's about to go down doesn't need to be captured by cameras. "You're going to tell me what the hell is going on right now?!" I snap at Yakov in Russian trying to make our conversation as private as possible.

  
"You need to calm down and go to the Kiss and Cry for your score." Yakov replies but I can see apprehension in his eyes letting me know that whatever the problem is will upset me. I concede when he doesn't answer my question walking (stomping) to the Kiss and Cry and taking a seat. I try to relax my face not wanting the whole people watching to know my true emotions. Its a difficult thing to do because in my head different scenarios keep flooding in. Something is wrong with Yuuri I know it. Why else would Yakov be worried about my reaction while in public.

  
**"Victor Nikiforov of Russia has scored a 217.20 making his total score 320.35. He is currently in first place."**

  
I barely manage a wave to the crowd before rushing off into the back. I hear Otabek being announced but I don't really care about his performance right now. I stop next to some chairs and wait for Yakov to reach me before glaring at him to tell me what is going on. Yakov sighs and runs a gloved hand down his face. "Yuuri collapsed while training and has been taken to the hospital."

  
My heart stops for just a moment at the news and as images of his prone body the day of the accident play in my head like a movie. Goddamn it I knew he wasn't okay, I should have said something! "I need to get back to St. Petersburg right now." The words fly out of my mouth sounding desperate expressing exactly how I feel. "I need...Yuuri is...I..." A sense of helplessness consumes me not allowing me to produce full sentences. I can feel tears streaking down my cheeks both from fear and frustration.

  
Yakov grabs me by the shoulders and shakes a little. I look up at him startled by the movement. "Yuuri is fine. He regained consciousness and is going to be discharged before we arrive back in Russia. I understand that you want to be with Yuuri right now but you need to calm down. I already changed our flights so we leave in three hours. That was the earliest I could get. Now I know you don't want to but you have to stay for the medal ceremony." I start to argue but he just continues talking not giving a damn about my protests. "We stay, get the medal and leave. I promise you no more delays."

  
The crowd cheers meaning the end of Otabek's free skate and making me remember I still haven't officially won. Although right now I could've finished last and I would seem to care, not when Yuuri is hurt. I hear Otabek's score and don't feel an ounce of happiness when I realize I finished first. I'm supposed to be sitting with the other top three skaters but finding out about Yuuri was more important. Yakov all but pushes me to where the other skaters are and I'm immediately asked for an interview. Yakov refuses without me having to say a thing and I leave him to deal with them because I'm too exhausted both emotionally and physically to care. I sit down next to Seung-gil and exhale deeply while closing my eyes. I open then again only because someone is grabbing my shoulder. Otabek is sitting on the other side of me with furrowed brows.

  
"What's going on? I noticed your exchange with Yakov earlier and you looked angry while skating." He asks actually looking worried. I guess his friendship with Yurio had changed him as well. He interacts more with the other skaters and expresses more emotions. I rub at my eyes feeling the weight of it all crashing into me like tsunami waves. Although they might not be the biggest they keep coming relentlessly one after the other.

  
"Yuuri collapsed while training." I explain still trying to wrap my head around the situation because it doesn’t feel real. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part and a way to not lose it in front of other people. Seung-gil turns his body towards us his usual neutral face replaced by wide eyes.

  
"Is he okay?" Seun-gil asks not shocking me in the least because although he doesn’t normally interact with others he still cares. “Pichit, told me he hasn’t been himself after the accident.” I’m surprised by his words but then remember Yuuri saying something about those two texting and talking on the phone. Honestly that friendship is surprising considering what an upbeat person Pichit is compared to the always stoic persona Seung-gil has. Although I’m pretty sure Pichit could befriend just about anyone.

  
I nod my answer then decide it’s better if I explain fully. “He’s okay and is going to be discharged soon but I still don’t know what the doctors said. There could be something wrong that I’m not aware of.” The helplessness inside me intensifies knowing he’s so far away.

  
_I should have convinced him to come with me. Then he wouldn’t have been training._

  
_It would’ve happened eventually anyways._

  
_Yes, but I could have been there._

  
My internal monologue is noticed by the others because they don’t ask any more questions and leave me alone. They speak among themselves in quiet voices as we wait for the medal ceremony to begin. A few minutes later a woman comes to lead us to the ice for our medals. They call each of us to the podium and we receive the medals and flowers. I stand and force a smile as I wave to the crowd that cheered me on. The national anthem of Russia is played but I hardly notice in my hurry for it all to be over so I can get to Yuuri.

  
After a combined travel time of almost 15 hours I’m finally at the hospital where Yuuri was taken to. The thing is that Yuuri has already been discharged but I wanted to speak to the doctor that treated him because I need the truth about what’s going on with him.

  
“Mr. Nikiforov, I’m Dr. Popov, I treated the patient when he arrived. I was told that you wanted to speak with me.” The doctor wears the common white gown they all do and a stethoscope around his neck.

  
We shake hands as does Yakov and then he escorts us to his office for some privacy. “I know this is unorthodox but I’m Yuuri coach and I’m concerned he’ll hide the truth from me just to keep on skating.” I stop for a moment and decide not to tell him the full extent of my relationship with Yuuri. St. Petersburg is one of the most tolerant cities in Russia but there has been a recent rise in anti-gay propaganda. Russia is still stuck in the dark ages when it comes to LGBT rights and acceptance. Hopefully that will change soon if not then maybe Yuuri and I will end up living in Japan or even the US.

  
The doctor nods at my words while pulling out a file from his desk. He opens it and reads through it. “Mr. Katsuki’s companion said that he had been in an accident a few ago in which he hit his head against the ice. Now from I what I understand he was told that he had a mild concussion and was encouraged not to perform but he still did.” I clench my jaw as anger at his blatant lie fills me. That stubborn man. He’s been lying to me all this time. “When asked, he mentioned having migraines, dizziness as well as an increase in anxiety and mood swings. When he collapsed, his head did hit the floor so we did a head CT. His mild concussion is now more serious meaning he can’t skate or do anything physical for at least two weeks and then he can only start doing some light exercise.” I run a hand through my hair in frustration because this is not good news. In fact, this really bad news to someone like Yuuri.

  
“What could happen if he does skate before the two weeks?” I ask the question that I know Yakov is thinking because he knows Yuuri. He knows Yuuri won’t give up his opportunity at the GPF.

  
“If Mr. Katsuki skates and falls hitting his head one more time before it is properly healed he could risk not ice skating again. If he hits his head again his brain could swell which can cause devastating damage such as the loss of mobility, seizures and even death if the swelling is severe enough.” The doctor keeps talking but I’ve tuned him out. The consequences of his irresponsibility and stubbornness could be permanent and deadly. His words swirl around in my head like a tornado ripping apart houses.

  
We leave the hospital and I remain quiet all the way to my apartment where Yakov drops me off with a sympathetic look on his face. He knows what going to happen when I tell Yuuri that he isn’t allowed to train. He knows his reaction will be bad. I sigh and stretch my shoulder trying to relieve some of the tension lying there. The apartment is quiet and the lights are off in the kitchen and living room. I take my shoes off at the door (Yuuri insists and after living in Hasetsu for months it was practically second nature) and put on my slippers walking towards our bedroom. Makkachin comes to great me with enthusiasm. I pet him a few times but then ignore him to get to Yuuri. The lights are one and Yuuri lies on the bed with ice on his head. He smiles brightly when he sees me and sits ups cringing while doing so. I drop my suit case next to the closet door and take off my coat and scarf. November in Russia requires various layers of clothes.

  
“Hey, welcome back.” Yuuri says as I get closer and sit on the edge of the bed next to him. He reaches up and cups my cheek tugging me towards him until our mouths touch in a tender kiss. I feel myself relax at the feel of his warm body close to mine. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and bring him close to me wanting to feel his heart beating with mine. The fear that invaded my body the second I heard about him collapsing finally leaving. We sit there for a few minutes as I take his smell in and convince myself he’s alright. Well, as much as possible under the circumstances.

  
“How are you? What did the doctor say?” I ask once I let him go. I know I already talked to the doctor but I need to see if he is going to lie to me again. I’m giving him the opportunity to tell me the truth and I’m hoping he won’t lie because I don’t think I could handle the hurt. I run my thumb over his cheek feeling the satiny smoothness of his skin.

  
Yuuri smiles but looks down at his hands filled with the ice pack while answering me. “I’m okay, Vic. The doctor said I was exhausted and just need to rest up.” The minute his words register my heart plummets to the ground. He lied; he actually lied to me about something so important. 

  
I get up and walk away from him needing space to keep myself together. “Really?” The betrayal filling me is almost overwhelming. 

  
Yuuri shuffles on the bed and looks uncertain for a moment before he replaces it with fixed expression. “Yes, of course. I just need a good night’s rest and then I’ll be good as new and on the ice.” He smiles and I want to throttle him for being like this.

  
Anger and disappointment fight for control but the worst one of all is the hurt in my heart. Why is the man I love willing to lie to me? I turn to face him not bothering to mask the look of anguish on my face. “Why are you lying to me?” I whisper willing myself to stay calm because if I don’t I’ll explode.

  
Yuuri looks alarmed and get up from the bed to stand next to it. “I’m not lying. The doctor…” I cut off his weak rebuttal because every time he lies it’s like a knife stabbing me in the heart. 

  
In a flash the tight control I had on my anger is ripped away and I go off. “Stop!” I shout and see him take a step back in surprise. I’ve never so much as raised my voice at him so shouting is definitely not something I normally do. “I don’t want to hear any more lies! I spoke to the doctor and he told me everything. He told me the _truth_!” My eyes fill with tears because I just can't keep them away. I'm done; my body doesn't care what I want it's just reacting to the situation.

Yuuri looks back at me shocked and suspicious. His brows are furrowed and his head is tilted to the side.“If you already knew then why ask me, huh?” He asks and I can tell he already knows the answer but wanting to confirm it. 

  
“I wanted to give you the opportunity to tell me yourself. I wanted for you not to lie to me again!” My voice breaks because of the overwhelming emotions coursing through me. 

  
“So, what? Was this some kind of test? Were you testing my loyalty?” Yuuri asks incredulously and I can tell he's starting to get aggravated by our conversation.  

  
“I wouldn’t have to if you would just confide in me! I thought our relationship was better than this!”I yell the tears now falling freely because I want him to see how much his lies have hurt me and continue to do so. 

  
Yuuri turns away from looking at my emotions because he hates confrontations and seeing the people he care about suffer. “This has nothing to do with our relationship! I don’t have to tell you every single thing. It’s okay to keep some things to myself.” He angrily shoots back at me and I can't take it anymore and walk to him. I stop when I'm standing directly in front of him so he can't run away from me or this problem.

  
“Of course, you don’t, but this is different! This is one of those things I expect the person I _love_ to tell me! You’re hurt, Yuuri, and its serious; it’s not like I’m asking you some trivial thing. I’m your boyfriend but I’m also your coach and you should have told me because of either of those reasons!”The frustration seeps out of me and Yuuri just stares into my eyes unflinching . 

  
“If I told you, you would have made me withdraw from competition. I wasn’t willing to do that.” He says calmly as if the situation weren't dangerous as if he truly didn't care.

  
“It’s one Goddamn competition, Yuuri! Your health is much more important.” I yell unable to keep the anger inside. He's being stupid and stubborn. How can he not see how serious this situation is? 

  
Yuuri glares at me before storming off into the living room. “It’s not just a competition. If I didn’t compete then I wouldn’t be able to qualify for the Grand Prix Final. I’ve worked too hard for this to give it all up over a stupid injury!” He says while walking away. I follow him not done talking about this. He can't just run away every time he doesn't want to deal with something. 

  
I grab his wrist stopping him from walking further away from me. “But it’s not a stupid injury, that’s what you don’t get! If you fall and hit your head one more time you risk not skating ever again! You're risking your life! Not qualifying for the final is nothing compared to that.”

  
Yuuri rips his hand out of my grasp and looks at me with a hopeless expression. “You don’t understand, Victor, and you never will. You could retire right now and people will talk about you for a long time. You’ve won the GPF multiple times plus countless other championships. You have no idea what it’s like to look back at your career and realize it was nothing special. You’ll never understand not living up to your potential because you’ve already surpassed it.” He explains softly as if he's already given up all hope. His beautiful brown eyes are sad as tears threaten to fall. I've always known Yuuri feels he's not good enough but I thought he had finally gotten more confident and understood that he is one of the best people I've met and that everyone that meets him immediately likes him. 

  
I grab his shoulders and lean in until our faces are inches away from one another. I need him to see me, see the love I have for him and understand that what I'm saying is not unreasonable. “You’re right, I don’t understand but can’t you see that what you’re doing is dangerous? If you can’t skate anymore then how are you going to live up to your potential? If you can’t walk how are you going to prove you're something special? If you’re dead, you won’t be able to do anything.” I try to reason with him because our relationship as coach and as lovers is depending on his understanding of the problem. If he can't see that what he is doing is wrong I'm not sure our relationship will survive what follows.

  
Yuuri likes his lips before a tear rolls down his cheek. “This is my last shot, Victor. I don’t know how much longer my body can handle this life. I’m sorry, but I’ve sacrificed too much to end it now.”

  
“I’m not telling you to give up, just don’t skate for the two weeks the doctor said and then we can think about training again.” I plead but it falls on deaf ears as Yuuri walks out of my hold. He turns away giving me his back.

  
I can see his muscles are tense and his hands are now closed into fists. “I have to practice my routines. I can’t just win the GPF without having trained for it. I’m sorry but I won’t stop training.”He says with conviction and I realize he won't listen to me unless I do something drastic. 

  
I sigh and feel my heart  breaking because I know that what I'm about to do next will affect our relationship in a very big way. He'll probably resent me for doing so but I rather he be angry than dead because I didn't do everything I could to save him. I fight to keep the tears of sadness at bay and to make sure my voice doesn't quiver. He needs to believe in my words. “Then you leave me no choice. If I see you anywhere near the ice, I’ll inform the ISU of your injury and they’ll decide if you’re fit to compete or not and from the diagnosis I can guess what their decision will be.” Yuuri whips around in a flash and what I see in his eyes threatens to be my undoing. 

  
His eyes are wide and his face gives away the betrayal he is feeling. “Did you just threaten me?” Yuuri asks slowly as if not really believing what I just said. 

I turn away from his distraught expression because if I continue to see it my resolve will waiver and I can't risk it. I can't risk him because I love him too much. “I did and its killing me but I’m only doing this for your own good. I love you, Yuuri, and that means taking care of you when you won’t.”

  
“You say you love me and yet you’re threatening my dream. How is that love?" He yells at my back and more of my heart splinters at his words. Oh God, I hope he can forgive for this later because I need him in my life. 

  
I face him again, the tears that I had held back now running down my face. “Because your life means more to me than anything in the world, especially, a gold medal. I know you’re angry right now but you will realize later that I’m doing this for you and I’ll be waiting for you until then.”

  
“Then you’ll be waiting for a long time.” He says his voice so cold that I release a sob as he walks away from me. Yuuri puts on his shoes, takes his keys and leaves. The door closes with a slam and I drop to the floor suddenly unable to stand. The ache in my chest expands making it hard to breathe as I stare at the door and feel a sense of finality that threatens to suffocate me. Oh God, why is this happening? Everything was so perfect, for once in my life I was actually happy. Yuuri taught me what love is, he showed me there was a better way to live and now all of it is gone. My greatest fear was losing him and it looks like I just might if he can't understand why I'm doing this. Makkachin comes out of wherever he was hiding and presses his nose to my face. He licks me and whines until I wrap my arms around his body and sob into his fur. "It hurts so much, Makkachin. It hurts so much."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment on what you thought about it! Or drop a kudos!
> 
> XO, Camie


	6. Running Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is determined to train regardless of any threats made by Victor. He still can't quite believe what happened between them but the proof is in the lonely hotel room he's been staying. 
> 
> Victor can't seem to get passed his fight with Yuuri. He's feeling depressed and isn't focusing on his training which Yakov keeps calling him out on. 
> 
> The thing about figure skating is that you need focus in order not to get hurt.
> 
> Things are going from bad to worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Just be prepared for some angst!
> 
> Sorry I took so long to update! I had two exams on Thursday so I was pretty busy! #collegelife
> 
> XO, Camie

**Running Away**

**Yuuri**

I didn’t go home that night. I spent most of it at the rink, languidly skating circles trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. Everything hurt in that moment, most especially my head and my heart. It felt like something was squeezing my heart in an unrelenting grip, like I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. I left the rink when the first person came in to train. The apartment was eerily silent and completely dark when I arrived. The stark contrast between the day before where it had been bright and the sound of laughter and Makkachin’s nails on the floor filled the space was jarring. The only time he had seen the apartment like this was the first day he arrived in St. Petersburg because things changed after that. The place actually became a home. Makkachin jumps off the couch and walks toward me slowly almost as if he’s uncertain of me. I sigh and greet him lovingly making his tail wag crazily. I catch the sight of the duvet of our bed halfhazardly thrown on the couch and a grey pillow at the end. It looks like Victor slept there. Stepping closer to the couch I realize he slept with my pillow and my chest tightens even more. The box of tissues on the coffee table is empty while the waste basket is full of them. Guilt eats at me knowing he cried so much all alone because of me.

I love him so much but my heart is still feeling the sting of his threat and the anger is still too fresh in my mind. I walk away from the evidence of our fight and move to our room where I pack a bag. I’ll stay at a hotel until this is over. Walking out of the apartment where we shared so many amazing moments threatens to overwhelm me especially when I see the note on the back of the door.

**_I’ll be waiting. я люблю тебя_ **

Tears spill out when I read it and I steel myself against the threatening onslaught of emotions as I walk out of the apartment with the note clutched in my hand.

_I’m sorry, I’ll come back…soon. I love you to, Vitya._

_\----_

I practice at night when everybody has left for the day and I can be alone in the rink. The silence helps my racing mind and somehow it makes me feel closer to Victor. We both love this ice; it saw us grow, it saw our hardships, it comforted us but most of all it brought us together and witnessed how we fell in love. This ice is my life and I can’t imagine a day without it. I run through my programs slowly because for some reason I’m not in the mood to do much practicing. I don’t execute any triples or quads and just stick with doubles. A part of me know it’s because I don’t want what Victor said to become true. I don’t want to lose my ability to skate but I also can’t stay away from the ice.

_Ugh, this is no way to train. I have to practice my triples and quads. Stop being such a coward and show this stupid concussion that it cannot defeat you!_

I stop suddenly sending ice flakes into the air. I take a deep breath and begin my short program. This time I’ll do the jumps correctly. When it’s time for the triple combination I land both perfectly and feel the rush of victory thrum all over my body. The second triple is also a success but the quad sends me flying across the ice on my ass after landing on mu hip hard. I grunt in pain and then hear someone frantically calling out my name. “Yuuri!”

I look towards the opening to the rink and find a concerned looking Victor rushing to me without skates on. He stops just before me and kneels reaching for my shoulders. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” His questions are quick and desperate. I look at him and can’t believe he’s here. I thought I was alone. How did he get in here without me noticing? Since when is he here? Why is he here?

Victor helps me stand up and I cringe when pain radiates from my hip. _Ugh, that’s going to be a huge bruise tomorrow_. “I’m fine.” I say curtly taking a step back from him. “What are you doing here?” I ask and suddenly I remember his threat. If he saw me training he would tell the ISU. Before I can ask him if he’s really going to do it I’m interrupted.

“I’m here because you’re a stubborn ass. I knew you wouldn’t listen to me and find a way to train when no one could see you. I _know_ you, Yuuri.” Victor stares at me and I feel like I’m at the principal’s office for unruly behavior. “Apparently besides stubborn you’re also stupid.” My eyes flare at his harsh words. “How could you be so stupid as to train by yourself? What if you fell and hit your head; who would help you if you couldn’t get up, huh?” Victors blue eyes are stormy and a vein pops out in his neck from anger. I’ve never seen Victor as angry as he is now. “You could have died here, alone, and then what was I going to do?” Tears of what I assume are a mix of frustration, disappointment and anger fall down his beautiful face.

I stand quietly staring back at him because I honestly don’t know what to say. He’s right, I am being reckless but apparently, my mood swings don’t care that he’s right. They’re gearing up for a fight and Victor is going to be the unlucky victim they take it out on. “I might be stupid but at least I’m dedicated to this sport, unlike you, that on a whim decides to leave skating to coach some nobody and then come back.” I smirk at him and see his jaw clench and hands curl into fists at his sides.

_Stop it! What are you doing?!_

My brain screams at me but I can’t seem to stop hurtful words from spewing from my mouth. “What? Nothing to say? Well isn’t that strange? The great Victor Nikiforov left speechless, never thought I’d see the day. I guess you’ve never had someone talk to you this way, huh. You’re the legendary figure skating celebrity everyone loves.”

Something in his eyes changes like the words I just said snuffed out the last remaining light inside him. The look hits me square in the chest and the mood swings suddenly retreat and I’m left with an insurmountable amount of fear. “You’re wrong and I’m to blame for that because I chose to hide that part of my life from you but I guess it’s better if you knew the truth.” Victors face has become like stone and his body tense like if he’s waiting for a blow. “Do you know why I cut my hair? It wasn’t because I wanted a change like I said whenever anyone asked. I love ice skating; I need it to breathe. It’s a way for me to express my true self when in my personal life, I wasn’t able to. Russia isn’t the ideal place for a young gay man to grow up in. My family and friends all secretly hated me for my long hair and elegant twirling and vibrant personality. The skating world became my safe haven because it’s very tolerant to all that. Nobody judge me for being too feminine or because I liked to be affectionate.”

Victor’s face looks troubled and I want to tell him to shut up that he made his point but I don’t. I let him keep talking because the part of me that wants to know him completely yearns for his words. “After that season ended I was at home when my father decided he’d had enough of his faggot son." That word is like a slap to the face even though it isn't being directed at me. That word should not exist at all. "I mean, you’d think that having a world champion as a son would mean something but all he cared about was the fact I was gay. He kicked me out and nobody, not my mother or my siblings, stopped him. He said he gave me enough money for me to live off of because he felt obligated too but that I wasn’t his son anymore. I didn’t really love my family so I was surprised at how much it hurt.” Victor says looking down at his hands trying to hide the vulnerability in his eyes. He swallows as if composing himself before continuing speaking. “I was angry for while after that. I stopped skating and I cut my hair because at that moment I thought it was the cause of my misfortune. I soon realized that the only reason I was able to survive the hateful words from others was because of skating. I decided then that I would live my life on my terms and ignore those ignorant people who just wanted to tear me down. I vowed to never let anyone hurt me like that again. Which is why I was living a lonely life…until you.” He looks up at me now his eyes shining and full of so much pain and love. My chest tightens as my heart aches to touch him. It wants me to go to him and wrap my arms around his body and never let go.

“After the banquet, I saw a new side of you and wanted to know more. Then I saw the video of you skating my program and I knew you were special. I had been contemplating retiring but you changed everything. You made me fall in love with skating again. Through you I learned what it meant to have a family and what love really is. I love you, Yuuri, that is the only reason I was here. I missed seeing you, I missed the way I feel whenever you’re around. I _know_ you, which is why I know those words you just threw at me aren't really yours.” Victor says then turns around and walks away. I’m stuck frozen in place as everything he said is processed because it was so much. His words hurt because I could feel his pain as if it were me that had lived through all that. I’m quiet because I just realized that the Victor I had put on a pedestal all my life wasn’t the real one. Yes, he does have some of the same characteristics but he’s stronger, braver and a lot more vulnerable that I thought possible. Victor stops at the open gate of the rink. “I won’t report you to the ISU but just know that tomorrow night you won’t be able to come in.” With those last words, Victor leaves and it feels like goodbye.

_What have I done? Why am I being like this? This fucking concussion just wants to take everything I love away._

I fall on my knees when my legs give away and stay there until I can’t feel them anymore. The numbness in my knees mirrors the on in my heart.

\----

**Victor**

Yakov yells at me for the thousandth time since training started two hours ago. I sigh and skate to the middle of the ice to start the program over again. The other skaters are off the ice at the moment having a water break. Mila, Georgi and Yurio are standing at the edge of the rink all paying attention to me and whispering among themselves. It’s been like this for the two days since Yuuri left home and I turned into robot. I hardly speak, don’t laugh or joke and I certainly don’t touch anyone. I haven’t teased Yurio at all even when Otabek facetimed him and I saw him fixing his hair before answering. When he saw me looking he waited for the teasing but it never came and actually looked angry at the silence. Every time I finish training I change clothes in the locker room and leave without a single word to anyone. The only one who knows what happened with Yuuri was Chris and Yurio because he found me while I was speaking with Chris on the phone. Chris was his usual caring self and helped me feel a little better about the fight. He was annoyed by Yuuri’s behavior but at the same time he understands where Yuuri is coming from. Chris said that when he got injured recently he was so angry because it meant he couldn’t skate and feels like he’s going to be retiring soon. He said that although he doesn’t have any regrets about his career that he can understand how Yuuri feels about his lack of gold medals. After talking for over three hours with Chris (on speaker) and Yurio (who was actually very supportive) I went home feeling like maybe Yuuri and I could fix what’s been broken.

Yesterday made all of my fears of losing him for good come rushing back. How could just wanting to make sure he was okay end the way it did. My heart hasn’t stop aching since his hurtful words came out of the mouth that I kissed so often. I never thought Yuuri had a mean bone in his body but yesterday he was downright cruel. I never wanted anyone to know how low I had gotten at that time in my life but Yuuri needed to be taught a lesson about appearances. Just because someone appears to have a great life doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling about something on the inside. A part of me knows that his words were most probably because of the concussion and the anger he has because of it. Yuuri is angry at himself, at his situation and he’s taking it out on me. His mood swings might not be voluntary but they still hurt like knife to the gut.

Our relationship both as coach and athlete and as lovers might be unsteady but I will fight to make sure it survives this. I know our love is greater than any obstacle, we just need to fight through it…together. I start the routine but I’m not into the movements and it shows. “Get it together, Victor!” Yurio yells from the sidelines with a scowl on his young face. I nod to him because I can’t muster up the energy to answer properly. I try to do a quad but I end up popping it (lowering it from a quad to a double). “If you don’t land the next jump you’re leaving the rink and coming back when your head is on right.” I hear Yakov say as I perform the step sequence before the triple salchow. I position myself and jump raising one hand over my head and the other to my chest. My body twists in the air and as I go down I already know something is wrong. My toe pick digs into the ice causing me to rush forward. I put my hand out to soften the fall and feel a pop in my wrist. Pain instantly rushes up my arm and I cradle my wrist to my chest in an attempt to lessen the pain. “Ah!” I remain lying on the ice and hear the others rushing towards me.  Tears run down my face both because of the pain but also because things only seem to be getting worse. Yurio kneels in front of me looking worried and I manage to smile because the kid doesn’t show this type of emotion often. “Shit, Vitya, why do you go and do something so stupid as to get injured.” He says I his usual brazen way but I can tell he cares. “Yuuri and you make quite the pair getting injured just before the final.” I chuckle at his words and Yurio smiles back relieved to have some kind of reaction from me.

“Let’s get you to the doctor. We need to see if anything is broken.” Yakov says while helping Yurio get me off the ice. I nod deciding to concentrate on anything else but the pain in my wrist. Getting injured now is not ideal but hopefully it isn’t broken so I can still skate. I sigh sinking into the seat of the car suddenly feeling exhausted.

 _I don’t know if I can take any more problems_.

**Yuuri**

I’m sitting on the bed of the hotel watching some movie that I’m not paying any attention to. My head is filled with thoughts of Victor. I miss him. I miss our apartment. I miss Makkachin, but most of all I miss feeling warm. Being with Victor brings me warmth and when he’s away I feel cold and empty. I need to stop running away. A loud knock startles me from my musings. “Open the door, piggy!” Yurio yells form behind the door. I walk towards his voice and twist the handle of the door only for Yurio to barge in, the door almost hitting me in the face. Yurio stalks into the room and from the looks of it I’m in for a long angry talk.

“You need to stop being an immature idiot! You’re like a child with how unreasonable your being.” He says the moment I’m sitting down on the edge of the bed. His eyes are narrowed and his mouth is in his signature scowl. I missed that scowl too, if you can believe it. “Everyone at the rink agrees with what Victor did. Yakov said any self-respecting coach wouldn’t allow their athlete to train with such a bad concussion.” Yurio is now pointing at him angrily that reminds him of the time in the bathroom at the GPF when they met for the first time. “You’re being selfish and to be honest you’re talented enough to win the Grand Prix Final without having trained for two weeks.” He says but looks slightly surprised at his confession. His expression returns to the angry one from before. “Victor has been weird ever since your fight. He doesn’t go on one of his speaking marathons, he didn’t tease me about Otabek even when he saw me talking to him but the biggest change of all was the fact that when he skated he seemed to hate it. He hasn’t landed a jump successfully since you left.” Guilt fills me at how much my Victor is affected because of our fight. Shit, this is not what I wanted. “Do you know where I just was? I was at the hospital because Victor fell on one of his triples and sprained his wrist.” I stand up quickly and grab his shoulders.

My heart races at the knowledge that Victor is hurt. “What? How bad is the sprain? Will he be able to compete in the GPF?” I ask in rapid succession the worry eating away at me. This is all my fault. I caused him to lose focus and because of that he’s injured just like me.

Yurio shakes off my hands and glares. “It’s a Grade II sprain so it’s not as bad as it could have been but he’s still in a lot of pain. He also must wear a splint for two weeks. The doctor said that he can take it off to compete but has to put it back on as soon as he’s done.” Yurio says with his arms crossed over his chest. At times like these I forget he is only sixteen years old because he looks so much older when he’s talking some sense into someone.

The only thoughts that flood my mind are of getting to Victor. “I…I need to see him. I have to apologize.” I say more to myself that to Yurio but he answers back with a nod. I run around the room picking up my things and when I’m ready Yurio accompanies me down.

Yurio takes the keycard from my hand and signals towards the doors leading outside with his head. “I’ll check out for you. Go to Vitya.” He says before walking away in typical Yurio fashion. I thank him and rush into a taxi towards home.

I open the door to the apartment to find the living room dark. I slowly walk towards the light that’s coming from the bedroom. What I hear once I’m inside breaks my heart and fills me with shame. The shower is running the heat steaming up the mirror and Victor is on the floor his arms wrapped around his knees as he sobs into them. I take off my coat but leave everything else on as I step into the shower and wrap my arms around him. He immediately turns into my chest and clutches at my shirt tightly as if afraid I’m going to disappear. We sit there, under the hot water, until Victor’s sobs stop. “Are you real?” I hear him ask softly his face still buried in my chest. My heart squeezes painfully and I will the tears to not come.

I lean down and kiss his wet hair. “I’m real and I’m not leaving again. I promise.” I whisper into his ear and Victor just hugs me tighter. I soak in the feel of his body pressed against mine for the first time in three days and I know I’m home. “Come on we should get out before we get sick.” I say when the water has turned cold. We stand up together and he gets us both towels. I strip the wet clothes off and dry myself before taking the towel away from Victor and drying him off too. We walk out of the bathroom in silence and get dressed the same way. I grab the splint that’s on the night stand. “Sit, we have to put this on before we talk.” Victor nods sitting down next to me on the edge of the bed and holding his arm out for me. I carefully place the splint in place before bringing his hand to my mouth and kissing the gold band on his ring finger.

“I’m sorry.” I begin because those are the words I owe him the most. “I’m so sorry, for everything. What I said to you yesterday was horrible and all you did was say you loved me. I feel so ashamed. I hurt you, Vitya; I did the one thing I never wanted to do.” Victor lifts his uninjured hand and brushes away the tears I didn’t know had fallen. I close my eyes and cry because I don’t deserve this amazing man and yet somehow, I still have him.

“I love you, Yuuri, that means loving even the worst part of you. And that part isn’t as bad as you think. Yes, what you said yesterday hurt but I know you didn’t mean them. I was just waiting for you to come back to me.” Victor closes the gap in between us and kissed me. I melt into the kiss because it’s been so long since I’ve felt his lips on mine. Victor keeps it sweet when all I want to do is devour him completely. I whimper when he pulls away and he chuckles his eyes finally shining more brightly. “I want that too but we have to talk about your training first.” He says and I know he’s right; doesn’t mean I have to like it.

“I’m going to keep training but I’ve decided to not practice my jumps that way there is no way for me to fall and hit my head.” I say firmly but in a way he knows I’m not trying to be confrontational. Victor sighs and stares at me before nodding.

“I can live with that…but if you start feeling dizzy or anything you have to stop.” He adds looking stern and I can’t help but smile because a stern looking Victor isn’t something you see every day. I agree by placing my lips on his. Victor hums happily and cups my face with on hand while the other buries itself in my hair. I run my tongue on his bottom lip and he opens for me. Our tongues come together in languid strokes that make my skin burn with need. I moan when Victor pulls on my hair slightly and bites my bottom lip. “ _я люблю тебя.”_

“I love you too, Vitya” I say smiling before attacking his mouth once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this new chapter! I really hope you guys keep enjoying this ride with me! Some smut is on the way soon!
> 
> Comment your thoughts or leave a kudos! If you like this story please recommend it to your friends or on tumblr!  
> Link to my tumblr --> http://blindingly-seeing.tumblr.com/
> 
> XO, Camie


	7. Missed This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri are finally on good terms again but its time to find out if Yuuri's able to return to the ice in time to skate at the GPF. Will Yuuri recieve good news or will his dream of gold never happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry that I took so long to update but Uni has been kicking my ass with all these midterm exams and essays! This chapter is short so please bear with me until I can update next (which will probably be soon)! I hope you like this short chapter anyways!

**Yuuri**

Waking up early in the morning to train has always been difficult for me but today its worse than usual. Truth be told its been this way since we reconciled almost a week ago. The bed is warm and comfortable but the reason for not wanting to get up is because of the body entangled with mine. My back is pushed against Viktor's from, his arm wrapped around my waist, his big palm resting over my naked chest. I can feel his breathing on the back of my neck as he softly breathes in and out. Contentment and relief fill my body and I can relax a bit more into his arms.

_I could have lost this. I could have never woken up like this again._   
_You were stupid handling the situation._   
_I was an idiot. This right here means more to me than any gold medal._

A kiss on the shoulder lets me know Viktor is awake. He hums sleepily tightening his arm more and burying his face in my neck. "I missed this so much." He says while laying kisses all over my neck and shoulder. I shiver against the onslaught of need that fills me. "I was scared I wouldn't get to hold you ever again."

I sigh and turn around so that now we're facing each other. Viktor's turquoise eyes stare back at mine in silence as we just take one another in. After a few second I lean down and kiss his soft lips chastely twice before getting off the bed.  "Come on, lets take a shower." I say my hand outstretched towards him in invitation. Viktor places his larger hand in mine and follows me into the master bathroom. Makkachin jumps on the bed and does a couple of circles until settling down in the middle. Once in the bathroom Vitya busied himself brushing hid teeth while I turn on the shower. Soon the bathroom is filling with steam and I'm unwrapping the splint from Vik's wrist. The skin is an ugly shade of purple and the swelling makes it look painful.

_This is partly your fault for causing him to be distracted while training._

I raise the hand to my lips and place a soft kiss on the inside of his wrist silently asking for forgiveness. Viktor steps in the shower while I brush my teeth and then join him. Inside the shower the air is warm and the water hot. Winter's in St. Petersburg are horrible compared to Hasetsu's so any opportunity to feel warmth in my body is welcome. Viktor positions me so that the spray of water is hitting my shoulders and he's standing in front of me his silver hair damp looking darker than usual. He picks up his body wash, pouring some in his palm, and proceeds to wash my chest and arms. The slippery glide of his rough hands makes my body respond and soon I'm hard and aching. I look at Viktor, his eyes full of fiery desire, and let my own hands roam his beautifully sculpted body. I will never get tire of touching him.

"Me either." Viktor responds making me aware I must have said the words out loud instead of in my head. Viktor steps forward, our cocks brushing making me moan loudly. "I think my Yuuri needs some attention, don't you?" I nod my agreement almost desperately and lean up to capture his lips with mine. Viktor's lips are soft and wet and his tongue is hot as it mingles with mine. My fingers leave his shoulders and end up in his hair where I tug making Viktor moan into my mouth. I back him up to the wall and press out bodies flush against one another as I ravage his mouth. After a few minutes of making out I can't take it anymore and snake my hand down his chest towards the hardness pressing onto my stomach. I wrap my hand around him and Viktor moans loudly his head thudding against the wall. "Yuuri." He whispers desperately and I smile at the power coursing through me. 

I made him like this. I made him feel this good.

"What? Are you the one that needs attention now?" I say haughtily while biting his his earlobe and kissing under his ear, the spot that I know drives him wild. I begin to pump my hand at a steady pace and Viktor's breathing increases. I kiss my way across his neck, chest and face until our mouth are once again tangled together. Viktor comes beautifully minutes later and I smile triumphantly at his blissful expression. "You're so beautiful like this." I say and he smiles back still breathing fast.

I place a chaste kiss on his lips and go to turn around but he stops me when he sinks down to his knees. "I want to return the favor, and since my hand is unavailable right now I'll have to use something else." He says smirking looking quite pleased with himself. I wrap my fingers around his hair and jerk his face forward towards the place I ache the most. His warm mouth envelops me and I groan loudly at the feeling of ecstasy that fills me. Viktor sucks and bobs his head up and down all the while I pull on his hair knowing he loves it when I do. I come almost embarrassingly fast  and Viktor swallows everything down. I pull him up quickly and kiss his swollen mouth. Our tongues mingle together and I can taste myself on him. When we break apart we're both breathless but with bright smiles on our faces. "I'll never get over how dominating you are in bed...or the shower." Viktor smiles and I laugh because he says that almost every time we have sex. Most people would assume I'm submissive during sex because of my quite personality but the truth is when I'm turned on I take what I want and what I want is Viktor  any way I can have him.

We finish showering and get dressed for my doctor's appointment. It's already been two weeks since I was told not to train and hopefully there will be good news today. Now that my head is being overrun by desire I can feel nervousness fill me. I need to be able to train correctly seeing as the GPF is in three days. Viktor and I decide to buy breakfast at the Starbucks close to the hospital so after taking Makkachin for a short walk we're on our way.

\----

"It looks like the minimal swelling I had seen has now gone down completely. You also did well in the other tests performed." The doctor explains while looking at the results in the file in his hand. "Although I wish you would wait a little longer to return to training, I understand you have an upcoming event and so I'm clearing you for training. But if you so much as feel dizzy or get headaches you stop. In addition, you do run the risk of falling and hitting your head again so please be cautious." The doctor says and I feel relief course through me at his words, knowing that I might be able to get in shape to win the GPF. I'm going to be at a disadvantage from the other skaters because of the lack of training but I think I can still beat them!

Viktor and I say our thank you's and leave the doctor quietly lost in thought. The ride to the rink is also made in silence and I get the feeling Viktor is apprehensive about me skating full time again. The doctor gave me permission to do so but I know he still worries about it. "I'm fine, Vitya, don't worry so much. I promise if anything starts feeling strange I'll stop." I reassure him in the locker room while getting changed for practice. Viktor smiles at me and leans down to place a kiss on my lips before heading to the ice. I take a deep breath before following out feeling the excitement running through me. I stop when I reach the rink and stare at the other skaters Yurio, Georgi, and Mila already practicing their programs.

"Hey Piggy! What are you doing standing there? Get your ass on the ice already!" Yurio yells at me but I can see a hint of a smile on his face. I chuckle taking off the skate guards and step on the ice. I smile brightly to a concerned looking Viktor and nod once again reassuring him that I'm okay. I start warming up alone at the back end of the rink slowly. I'm happy to be back on the ice and it feels sort of surreal. A part of me started to think I would never get back here. I put on my earbuds and star the music for my short program. I go through the movements and step and perform the jumps. I fall on my quads and everyone instantly stops and looks at me. Yurio is at my side in seconds asking if I'm okay and Viktor arrives a few seconds later speaking at a hundred miles per hour in Russian.

They help me up and I brush off the lingering ice on my body. "I'm fine. I didn't hit my head so everything is fine. You can all go back to training." I dismiss them with a small smile and get back to training and so do they after a few minutes of watching me, no doubt checking for any signs of injury. I stay on my side of the rink a little removed from the others for the rest of the practice because I still feel uneasy skating with others. Every time any of them gets close enough my heart races and my breathing stop from fear. I sigh and run a hand through my hair in frustration because I have to get over it before the GPF. I need to be able to warm up with the rest of the skaters. After changing into our clothes Viktor, Yurio, Mila, Georgi and I decide to go eat somewhere together to celebrate my good news. I smile at the suggestion because it reinforces my friendship with them in my mind. It makes me feel like they've truly included me as one of them instead of an outsider.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Pz leave a comment or a kudos down bellow!
> 
> XO, Camie


	8. This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri has been given the all clear to train and compete at the GPF but will things go as planned when it's time to compete?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! I've been so busy lately. My university is going through some shit, I have various projects due for after Spring Break, I had family members visiting plus the death of another one so I've had a lot on my plate recently! I don't know if this chapter is any good soplease go easy on me!
> 
> This is Yuuri's short program music if y'all want to listen to it!
> 
> Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close! ----> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkS7_FsaSaw

Yuuri

 

Today is the beginning of the GPF and the plane from Russia has just landed in Japan. Nerves assault me when the doors to the pickup area open and I see my family waiting for me as well as the many posters of myself on the walls welcoming me back home. “Welcome back, Katsuki Yuri!” reads a big poster hanging from the two pillars in the middle of the airport. I thank God I’m wearing a black mask so that I don’t have to force a smile at the people staring and snapping pics at me. I keep my face down avoiding everyone in my path as I walk towards to the luggage claim where my family is waiting. I feel a hand on the small of my back and know its Viktor reassuring me in front of all these people. I relax knowing he’s near and finally look up towards my family who are all smiling happily. “Yuuri!” Minako yells while doing one of her twirls and the Nishigori triples are snapping pictures of a grumpy Yurio and a smiling Viktor. I smile for the first time since landing because this familiar scene reminds me I’m back home. Soon enough we’re all together and handing out hugs to each other and saying our hellos. Mari cries when she sees Yurio and runs after him for a hug while he runs away and hides behind Yuuko starring at her in disgust. Someone calls out Yurio’s name and we all turn to see Otabek walking towards us in his usual calm manner. Mari squeals and cries even more making everyone around us laugh. After having picked up the luggage we all head to the hotel close to the rink where we are to rest until the competition.

 

The rink is freezing and I allow the bite of cold to help keep me focused. The ladies short program finished a couple of minutes ago and now we’re are waiting for the official start to our warm up time. Mila is in first and Sarah is in third while a girl from South Korea, Park Bo Young, is in second. I stretch out my legs while listening to my program music trying to keep myself calm. My heart is racing and my pals are sweaty from the anxiety I’m trying so hard to suppress. I breathe in and out slowly as I go through my routine in my head. Viktor taps me on the shoulder letting me know it’s time for the warm up and my anxiety sky rockets instantly. “You okay?” He asks me once I’ve removed my earphones and placed my phone in my back pack.

I stare at his beautiful calming blue eyes and feel some of my anxiety leave. Viktor’s hands hold onto my neck firmly and the familiar wait is comforting. “I’m good.” I tell him and I am, I just don’t know if I will be when I get on the ice. Viktor smiles, nods and places a small kiss on my forehead before walking towards the ice. I follow behind him knowing this isn’t time for hesitation. I need to give it my all this time.

Pichit playfully elbows me as he passes by me on his way to the ice and I smile in return. Pichit and I spent almost an hour talking during the girl’s competition. He also showed me pictures of his new hamster which he named Paithoon, which means ‘cat’s eye’, in honor of Yurio. We all thought it was hilarious but Yurio was not pleased. (He actually has one named Ngein, which means silver, after Viktor and one named Pheụ̄̀xn, which means friend, after me.)

The first few minutes of warm up are done in complete concentration so that not even an inkling of fear can invade my head. But things don’t always go as you wish or as you thought they would. I’m preparing to practice my quad flip when Otabek lands his jump four feet away from me and my body just shuts down. My head is filled with images of a blade coming down on my face and the sound of flesh and bone hitting ice. My breathing increases and my heart pounds away in my chest trying to escape. I turn my hands into fists trying to keep a full-fledged panic attack at bay. My ears start ringing and I faintly hear someone call out my name but I’m unable to respond. My mind is at war with my body. Someone touches my shoulder and I flinch away from the contact but the suddenness of the touch served to bring me back to my surroundings. Viktor stands in front of me talking but I can’t make out any of his word because of the ringing and the sound of my accelerated breathing. Pichit is suddenly standing next to Viktor looking just as worried as they talk to each other. After what feels like hours they come to a conclusion and one of them helps me off the ice. I don’t pay attention to anything but the comforting wait of who I think is Viktor’s arm around my shoulders. We walk to the back where the locker room is located and I’m seated on one of the benches. Pichit appears kneeling in front of me and shakes me until I’m paying attention to what he’s saying. “Yuuri, you have to slow your breathing down. We’ve been through this before so you know what you need to do.” Pichit places my hands on his chest as he slowly breathes in and out. After a few seconds, I start to breath in time with him and my body starts to relax. Viktor sits down beside me and caresses my back in soothing circles making me calm down even more. I hear a few people come in to the room and realize its JJ and Otabek when they both ask if I’m okay. Their obvious worry fills me with comfort and I manage to finally stop the tremoring in my body and I’m completely calm.

 “I’m okay now.” I say looking from Pichit to Viktor and finally to Otabek and JJ who are now standing at my side. “I’m sorry for scaring all of you. I was fine but when Otabek landed so closely my brain just took me back to the accident.” I explain myself as best I can with a dry mouth. Viktor hands me a water bottle and I mumble my thanks.

 “Yura was worried about you too but he had to go out on the ice.” Otabek says and I chuckle imagining Yurio’s grumpy face looking worried over the Piggy.  “You go on after him. Will you be able to perform after this?” JJ asks with genuine concern in his eyes. I still find it hard to believe JJ has changed so much since his fumble at the last GPF and getting married to Isabella. Last season we all became friends with him instead of just being competitors and in all honesty, he’s a really nice person.

“Yeah, I’m okay now. I just need to calm down.” I reassure all of them but especially Viktor who I know is dying to ask a million of questions. I grab his hand and lace our fingers and smiling at him. Viktor nods in understanding but I know that I’ll be interrogate when we get back to the hotel. We all walk back to watch the end of Yurio’s routine. The crowd cheers as the music ends and he stops in his final pose chest heaving. Yurio gives a small smile to the audience and waves then skates off the ice. 

He flips his sweaty hair out of his eyes and glares at me. “You better be okay, Piggy.” He says menacingly and I just smile back and nod knowing full well this is how Yurio shows his affection for me. Yurio gets a good score for his short program and it’s time for me to take the ice. My name is announced over the arena and I make my way to the middle of the ice and wait for the music to begin. When the first notes of the music fill the arena, I get into character and begin my performance. After I land all my jumps and complete all my elements the music stops and my heart is racing at full speed. 

 _I did it. I really did it!_  

Viktor waits for me and I jump into his arms feeling happy and relieved. “You were great, Yuuri!” Viktor praises me as he all but carries me to the Kiss and Cry to wait for my score. Viktor fusses over me for a few minutes and then my score is posted. “The score for Japan’s Yuri Katsuki is 113.10 placing him in first place.” I smile brightly and bring Viktor into a bone crushing hug. Viktor hugs me back just as tightly and places small kisses on my cheek. We let each other go and Viktor left to talk to Yakov before his turn to compete while I went off to sit next to Yurio and watch the remaining performances.

Afterwards, when the first half of the competition is done and the results are in we all head back to the hotel and share a meal together like one big dysfunctional family. Chris, who came to support us, pouts drunkenly because he can’t get Viktor or me drunk. Mari and Minako fangirl over Otabek and Yurio’s interactions. Pichit, Mila, Sara, Isabella and JJ gossip about everything and anything. Michele, Emil and Georgi all talk about the places they want to travel to with their girlfriends. Yuuko and Takeshi try to control their triplets from taking and posting pics of us without our knowledge. My parents sit with Yakov and all the other coaches drinking and talking. I sit back with Viktor’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and watch all of us and feel a sense of belonging and I know this is where I belong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me and reading my story! PLease leave a comment or Kudos!
> 
> PS: The next chapter is to be the last one!
> 
> XO, Camie


	9. History Maker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time to make history!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for joining me for this journey! I really hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have!

**Chapter 9 – History Maker**

**Yuuri**

The warm up time has just ended and this time I was able to practice completely because the other skaters kept their distance. I smile gratefully at each of them knowing they did it to help me. We get off the ice, except for JJ who is up first, and walk towards the back to watch his performance on the monitor there. The standings are shown on the TV before the start of the competition.

  1. **V. Nikiforov       RUS         115.05**
  2. **Y. Katsuki          JPN            113.10**
  3. **Y. Plisetsky        RUS           113.05**
  4. **O. Altin              KAZ           112.80**
  5. **P. Chulanot       THA            111.60**
  6. **J. Leroy             CAN           111.57**



My heart races seeing my name under Viktor’s and above Yurio’s knowing they are the best skaters in the world. I know I’m also considered one of the best skaters but I’ve always doubted my talent even after winning Gold medals throughout the season. JJ being in last place is mostly due to an injury he sustained to his knee a week before the GPF. He had to downgrade almost all of his quads to triples because of it.

JJ performs then goes Phichit, Otabek and Yurio. The standings stay the same with Yurio leading the pack with only me and Viktor to go. I go before Viktor and the nerves are building up. Viktor smiles at me and places a small kiss on my lips before I step on the ice. When the music begins, I take a deep breath and start the routine. I decide that after everything I’ve been through these last few months and after having sacrificed so much for this moment I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to give it my all so that I won’t have any regrets.

_**The score for Yuri Katsuki of Japan: 217.05. His total score is 330.15, he is currently in first place**_.

Tears of joy run down my face as I hear and see my score posted on the screen. This is a world record. I broke Viktor’s world record! Viktor yells my name and throws he a kiss from where he’s standing on the ice. He couldn’t sit with me at the Kiss and Cry because Yakov wanted to speak to him before his performance. Instead Phichit is sitting next to me basically bouncing on the seat. They call Viktor to the ice and I sit back down still at the Kiss and Cry and watch Viktor beautifully perform. It doesn’t matter that I’ve seen him perform this routine a thousand times, it always feels like the first time, always takes my breath away. When he’s done Viktor skates off the ice and crashes into me wrapping his arms around my body in a tight embrace. He’s breathing hard as he whispers his love for me in my ear. I hug him back just as tightly and cry yet again because his love for me is everything I’ve ever needed. Even if I don’t win tonight, I have Viktor and that is the biggest prize of all.

_**The score for Viktor Nikiforov of Russia: 214.10. His total score is 329.15, he is currently in second place.** _

I’m frozen in place as Viktor’s score is displayed on the screen.Second place. Viktor is in second place. Cheers fill the arena but I'm still trying to understand what has just happened.

"You won, Yuuri! You just won the GPF!" Viktor yells at me with the biggest smile on his face. His hands are resting on my shoulders anchoring me in the moment, providing warmth and reassurance. I stare back at him, taking in his bright blue eyes, the wide smile on his face and it finally sinks in. This is real.

_I just won the GPF._

Tears of relief, happiness and exhaustion start streaming down my face but I've never smiled as big as I did right then. Viktor crushes me onto his chest and holds me there for what seems like an eternity whispering how proud he is in my ear.

Half an hour later I stand in the middle of the podium with a Gold medal around my neck, Viktor with silver and Yurio with bronze standing next to me. The three of us come together for pictures and I wrap my arms around both of them feeling like my life has come full circle.

\-----

**_5 Years Later_ **

**Viktor**

Four months after Yuuri won his gold medal at the GPF we got married on a beach in Hawaii with all our friends and family. Phichit, Chris and Yurio were our best men (after Yurio adamantly saying he wouldn't do it). It was a fun wedding filled with drunk husbands dancing on poles with best friends while others (namely Phichit, Leo, Minami and Guang Hong) took pictures. Seungil and Otabek looked on indifferently while Yurio did nothing to hide his disgust. JJ and Georgi laughed and stayed by their fiances. Mila, Sara, Michele and Emil cheered them on as Yuuko and Takeshi ran after their triplets who were supposed to be sleeping but instead were taking video of drunk Yuuri and Chris. The Katsuki parents, Yakov and Celestino had gone to bed earlier in the night but Mari and Minako were at the bar drinking liquor. It was the happiest day of my life.

Yuuri reclaimed his title the next year but I beat him in my last Grand Prix Final and finished my career with another gold medal. After retiring at age 30, Yuuri and I decided to move back to Hasetsu and train for his last competitive season there. In his last year Yuuri won multiple competitions and finished with a bronze at the GPF behind JJ and Otabek. When Chris also decided to retire, after his injured knee became too painful, he came to Yuuri and me with an idea. And that is how VYC Ice training center in Ice Castle Rink came to be and how we became coaches and choreographers for figure skaters.

At first the only skaters we were coaching were Minami Kenjiro of Japan and Camilo Aldrete of Spain but now Yurio and Mila also train with us. Yakov unfortunately had a heart attack and can't have a stressful job and so he retired and Yurio and Mila chose me to be their new coach. Yuuri handles Minami and helps Celestino with Phichit. Chris is training Camilo while I'm focusing on the Russians. When we're not training these top skaters we're giving the kids of Hasetsu figure skating classes. To be honest watching Yuuri with children makes me long for one of our own.

\----

** Yuuri  **

Five years after that day and so many things have changed but there is something that has stayed the same., my love for Viktor. Our love is constant and complete. I never imagined my life would turn out this way. I never would have thought that Viktor would be my husband and that we would have our closest friends living alongside us. I come out of my musings when I feel soft lips press against the gold ring on my left hand. I smile up at Viktor and sigh contently when he places another kiss to my head. My face is nestles into the crook of his neck while his arms rest around me. We're on our way to Hawaii where Chris is to marry our infamous mystery man. Viktor and I are the best men while the rest of the skaters are honorary guests. I've told myself a million times not to get drunk this time but I'm pretty Chris is going to want to pole dance and the only way of getting me on there is to intoxicate me with drinks.

"I love you." I hear Viktor say and my chest still tightens every time I ear those words. I kiss his neck and smile into his skin.

"I love you, Vitya."

 

**THE END!**

 

 

Viktor and Yuuri adopt a little Japanese girl and name her Aiko (little love) Katsuki-Nikiforov!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please comments to let me know if you liked it or leave a Kudos!
> 
> XO, Camie


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